Verbal Attack - How You Can Assuage It?

By Niti Krishnakumar

All of us have at some time or the other come under verbal attack from loved ones, even strangers. This is a common menace we all have to deal with... the threat is very real, especially when our spirits are dampened and we can't be productive at all.

Let us figure out how we can help ourselves come out of an attack-unharmed.

The mind of the offender is not logical or rational. They are most probably swept away by anger at some offence committed against them or feeling let down. Perhaps, their expectations were not met and they feel like they have the right to vent themselves. We have all been through these ourselves. Whatever be our mindset or mental agony, we must realize that there is no good in staying in that state. When all the damage is done, we often regret it. We wish we had not spoken in that moment and spoilt it all. But the damage is already done and we feel left out, sidelined, and worthless too. Only wish there was an undo in life!

As we have also been victims of verbal attacks, we can relate with the frenzied mind of the offender. While not all verbal attacks are unnecessary, there are times when we burst out because we feel violated or misunderstood. These are times when one feels powerless, either way. The fact remains - we can put our point across only when we can master our anger and have a lot of self-control. This is precisely why the Bible says in Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away all wrath". There is a way to do it and the faster we can master this art, the more peace and quiet we can enjoy.

While there are points to be conveyed and made understood, there is a gentle and a patient way of doing it. We must not be controlled by our emotions. They can be harmful to our bodies and make us impatient and loud. The better way is to calm down first and think of something that is good about the person who offended you. This puts them in a different light. You start valuing them for what they are. Suddenly their little misgivings don't seem to count. But if you still feel that it is right to express your point, make a little time to settle down and then speak carefully and listen with your heart. Take the time out to think about it yourself, before rampaging on their souls.

The benefit is over time, people will copy your good behavior and you will be rewarded with their patience and support. You will love being told that you are very gentle and caring. This compliment is worth getting and it is worth the effort as well. There is magic in being gentle and it really works. With a little effort, you can make your relationships really valuable and top class.